The kitchen, the tip and a visit from the Old Bill

The kitchen is not finished – just yet.  We had a major set back and a major surge too!  The internet tile ordering fiasco was ended by our find appropriate white metro tiles in Homebase which I picked up ready for the weekend (just gone).  And rather surprisingly they went on with very little fuss. Early on Saturday morning we had gone to Wickes to pick up tile adhesive when we noticed about 5 boxes of rather nice long grey floor tiles and a donation was being asked for.  I made a bid of £25 to a local cancer charity and the tiles were ours. The part “designer chic” part “run out of tiles” display on the kitchen floor just wasn’t cutting the mustard.  The addition of two tile types had turned the kitchen floor into a ladder going nowhere.  We hadn’t really made the decision to change the tiles but it was sitting between us like some unmentioned but visible blot on the landscape!

However I’m getting ahead of myself here.  On Saturday the white metro tiles were laid and the kitchen accessories added.  All snagging upstairs and all gloss painting were completed  we went to the tip TWICE!  Once wasn’t enough to cope with the plethora of rubbish we seem to seamless acquire.  In fact twice wasn’t enough really.  However the first load to go out was the remainder of the old kitchen, a mountain of cardboard box that had been used as carpet and the gubbins of the new kitchen.  In between loading the van the dogs made a dash for freedom – which sadly we didn’t realise till the continued silence from the house became glaring apparent.  We both looked at each other and said – “where are the dogs”?  Spilled milk and barred gates and stable doors all sprung to mind.  Approximately twice a year they do this; an extended fox investigation.  Terry jumped in the motor and I kept the home fires burning in case they returned.

After an hour and no luck we actually decided that  if they were coming home they’d be home soon and if not we’d have to deal with that later.  So we continued with packing the van full of rubbish.  On the trip to the tip I felt the urge to ring the Old Bill and see if any sightings had been reported of 2 mad Staffies.  As soon as I got through to the police and asked about 2 Staffies and identified that one was a brindle and the other white I was treated to a sharp intake of breath from the caller and a promise that an officer would ring me back immediately!  As we pulled in to the tip 15 minutes before it was due to close Terry took THE CALL.  He nodded very seriously as the conversation continued and then said right oh officer I’ll see you back at my house in 15 minutes.  We then started what can only be described as a Benny Hill sketch of running backwards and forwards from container to van with washing machines, tiles, cardboard boxes and garden rubbish.  We both had a fair old sweat on before we arrived back at the Gaff only to behold a shiny enormous Black Maria outside of the house and 2 police persons and a group of all the local neighbourhood children ohhing and ahhing over Bodie and Vinnie locked inside the Black Maria and whining embarrassingly.

I leaped out of our van and crossed the road expecting a terrible telling off and an ear wigging only to find both officers were lovely and more concerned about the dogs than any mischief they had caused.  Well done Gosport police – you were wonderful.  Both dogs slunk into the house where shortly thereafter their father (Terry) gave them THE speech about coming home in the back of a police car!  They ate briefly and went to bed barely able to drag their puppy legs after themselves.

The rest of last week was taken up with illness.  Terry still with the vestiges of flu and then I got Vertigo for the second time in my life and very severely.  I have had to sit on the mattress and not move for hours at a time.  No screen, no texts no nothing lest I chunder all over the place.  Walking around I gave a pretty good impression of a drunkard.  Jolting and lurching with spinning head and googly eyes.  I had to give in and accept medication from the doctor.  This has put us back 1 week.  Rather than being able to call the estate agents Friday we have started them on this coming Wednesday.  We still need to carpet the landing and stairs and polish the ceramic floor – oh err missus!  More news to come!

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